What are the big takeaways we can glean from this whirlwind unit on gender in Torah? We went back and spent a day on each of three texts to parse out what gender models those stories present. I couldn’t choose just one day’s conversation to write a post about, so you’re stuck an extra-long record of your children’s insight and brilliance. Enjoy (-:
The first text we reviewed told the story of the creation of people. In one version, God creates an Earthling, in God’s image, both masculine and feminine. In the second version, God creates an Earthling and then uses one of his ribs to build him Woman as a companion.
What model for gender do you see in the first Genesis story?
- In this version it’s more like men and women are the same or equal because they’re created at the same time and in God’s image.
- I think the world would be more peaceful based on this gender model.
- All people are both/neither gender.
What model for gender do you see in the second Genesis story?
- That women are supposed to serve men rather than be their own independent people.
- It’s unequal, like men deserve more or better things than women.
- That women have some of both genders because they were taken from man.
- That men have some of both genders because they were used to make women.
- In order to be a good challenging helper to someone, you to have elements of both genders.
When you see the gender model where women and men are unequal in action in the world, what do you do about it?
- Punch people who tell us that girls can’t do the same things that boys can do! My mom told me not to punch my brother, but she also told my brother not to tease me.
- Sometimes I just ignore comments about girls not belonging or doing all the things.
- Sometimes I feel like I’m done, I sit down and give up on doing what I initially wanted to do.
- Sometimes I want to yell at the person for saying a mean thing, but I might choose to ignore them instead so I don’t get in trouble.
- Not back away from spaces you’re not “supposed” to be: As a girl, to be in a STEM or a STEAM class. For a boy to be like a cheerleader or in a dance class.
- Prove that you can do the thing that they don’t think you can do by showing them.
The second text we reviewed was the story of Rachel and Leah. Yaakov comes to their land looking for a wife. He makes a deal with Lavan, Rachel and Leah’s father, to work for him for 7 years in exchange for marrying Rachel. On the wedding night, Lavan tricks Yaakov by giving him Leah to marry instead. A week later Lavan lets Yaakov also marry Rachel, and then Yaakov works for him for another 7 years.
What models for gender do we see in the Rachel and Leah story?
- If you’re a man, you have to work to get what you want.
- If you’re a girl, you just have to be pretty to get what you want.
- Women don’t get choices. Men make decisions and don’t even necessarily tell the women about them.
- Men and women are supposed to marry each other.
What reactions do you have to those models?
- It’s not fair!
- I feel aggravated because this used to be (more) normal!
- It makes me mad! Because I’m strong!
- What about Beverly? She married another woman!
What do you want to do about it? How can you challenge those models?
- Women should have a say in everything.
- Women should also be judged by their abilities and not just their appearance.
- I can warn people not to be fooled by appearances.
- My mom is the one who makes more of the decisions in my family, and my dad listens to and supports her.
The last text we reviewed was the story of Devorah and Yael. Devorah was a prophet and judge who led the Jewish people while they were under the oppressive rule of Canaanite King Yavin and his general Sisra. Devorah guided the Jewish general Barak in a victorious battle against Sisra. Meanwhile, Yael killed Sisra all by herself in a devious and gory way.
What models for gender do we see in the Devorah and Yael story?
- Women are capable.
- Women can be leaders
- Women can be leaders of an army.
- Women can take credit.
- Women can kill other people.
- Some girls are stronger than they look.
- Men can express fear and worry.
- Men can turn down credit.
- Men can make choices that help people other than themselves.
What reactions do you have to these models for gender?
- I feel fine about it.
- I feel great.
- I generally think it’s a good model, especially if we read it as men and women can do all of these things, not that they have to.
